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"Only one human captain survived the Earth-Minbari wars. He is behind me. You
are in front of me. If you wish to live, be someplace else."
-Delean,
Babylon 5
"Are you saying...." "Yes, we put the brick on the accelerator pedal"
-Father Ted
Waiting for the break of day
Searching for something to say
-Chicago's 25 or 6 to 4
"Qui a coupé le formage?"
-Freakiziod
To insult the likes of Tom Arnold is too easy. It's like pooping on poop.
-Triumph, The Comic Insult Dog
"It's dark in the dark when it's dark
And we'z not eaten for ages..."
-Ogre Song
"You want a hint? How long can you tread water?"
-Bill Cosby
"Luke! Pull Up!"
-Biggs
"This new learning astounds me. Tell me again how we may use ram's blatters
to predict earthquakes?"
-King Arthur
"They must be; they are weighted with authority."
-Reverend Hale
Cause the players tried to take the field, the marching band refused to yield
- American Pie
"World War II can be summed up into a simple phrase: Genocide, Fun to Say,
Bad to Do."
-Me on my US History Final
"Gun control kills kids."
-Grandpa Jack
"Iraq isn't proper English"
-Me, on the whole Iraq military action thing
"Sleepin' on sentry is a shootin' offense. If you're caught doin' it again,
I'll shoot ya myself."
-Lt. Sharpe, Sharpe's Rifles
"You can believe that there is no God, but you had better be right"
-A
Tee- shirt
"It's in metric, uhh? That's, like, centimeters and shit?"
- Ben Frick
"Is it because Hydrogen is bonding?"
-The Dylan Haney Principle of
Chem423
"One third of the children today are born into homes without families."
-
Dan Qualye
"Lark's vomit? It doesn't say anything here about lark's vomit!"
- The
Constable, Crunchy Frog
"I don't know of anyone who would rather watch Sailor Moon than listen to
Chris Issac."
- Kiel Phegley
"We're being captured by a bunch of goofballs."
- Gohan, Dragonball
Z
"We're going to play Red Light, Green Light in the church. We can do this
because I'm the Pastor."
- Pastor Sawyer
"That's a sturdy board you got there Jud. You could hang yourself on a board
like that."
- Curly, Oklahoma!
"Houston, we have a problem."
- Jim Lubbel
"Sodium is a loser."
- Dale Wolfgram
"Flaming Piss."
- Brain Sterling
"Violent games make me happy."
- John Gorke
"Happy Arbor Day kids!"
- John Gorke
"Ben, Pie."
- Dan Harrett
"Tony, if you say one more thing, I'm throwing my tuner at you."
- Me
"You scare me."
- Dan Holtary to Kiel Phegley
"Ready Baum?"
-Michael D. Bridges
"And gravity said, "We can't move him."
-Bob Lenz
"Is curling a dangerous sport?"
-Jason Arends
"I'm bleeding here!"
-Pete from CPR
"Don't spit on us Rev. Yonker."
-A Sign
"You can carry the cross or you can carry the cross. I think you'll carry the
cross but you might carry the cross."
- Tim Zoll
"Stein auf!"
- Lost and Found
"This is Baum and do what Baum does, but not everything Baum does because
remember; Baum is a professional."
-Michael D. Bridges
"Bunny!"
-Jason Arends
"General Purpose Heavy Machine Gun? And to think I always believed the
purpose of heavy machine guns was pretty well defined."
- Hatchetman
"But what I don't understand is why I keep on getting ads for Viagra in my
Hotmail box. I'm 17, for Pete's sake, it had better work."
- Me
"shhhhhhhhhhit.. more words I'll never live down"
- Fuzzy
"The American medical community is going back to using leaches. That right!
After a thousand years of medical research, we can only come with these blood
suckers and Hard-on pills."
- Lewis Black
"If hadn't stole so much money, I'd see her ass right now!"
- Crow T
Robot
"I just had the Mega, Atomic, Power dump of doom!"
- Jason Arends
"Holy mother of crap!"
- Aaron Saul
"Do you pile on the extras?"
- Kiel Phegley
"No smint no kiss."
- John Duffy
"I marched a 75 pound vibraphone. And the next year I marched a timpani." -
'Uncle' Jeff
"And all of his drill was up hill both ways in the snow." - Ms.
Stevens
"And the next year he marched a car!" - Jason Arends
"Physics ain't my bag."
-Mr. Martell, GBHS Physics teacher
"So I guess the Code of Thundera doesn't allow for 'stomp Mumm-ra's testicles
to jelly while he's down'."
-Seth Triggs
"You have to be careful with these balances because every single pothead in
the school wants one."
-Mr. Hugo
"This is when it starts getting good."
-Aaron Saul
"Hey Hank! I peein' my name in the snow!"
-Lou, A Simple
Plan
"Why do people keep asking me questions?"
-Mr. Hugo
"I should send [John] Gorke as my representive. They'll let me in to get rid
of him."
-Mr. Hugo
"By suppressing the competition, he [the judge] concludes, Microsoft
has made computers less innovative, more expensive, more troublesome and harder
to use- all to the detriment of the schmoes behind the keyboard."
-Newsweek
"I wish I had a limit break."
-Cassidy, Fallout 2
"Never put salt in your eyes."
-Kids in the Hall
"Tyrrel, I mean those bastards in the tower."
-Richard III, Richard III
"It's another one of those hate chips!"
-Brett
"Our Physics teacher tricked us with knowledge!"
-Ben Frick
"Flip mode's da squa!"
-Busta Rhymes
"No one ever said you had to live on Bob."
-Cal, Titan AE
"War. War never changes.."
- The intro to the Fallout games.
"I hate it when I forget to speak English."
-Ben Harrett
"Gorke, more work, less spud."
-Mr. Hugo on John's Potato Eating Hijinks
"I should make all the questions about alcohol, you guys would never get any wrong."
- Professor Charlesworth
"A good portion of today's lecture will be kicked in the head by the chain rule."
- Professor Erlebach
"This isn't coffee, this is bullshit."
- Chris O.
"North is up stupid! Haven't you ever seen a map?"
- Chris O. on the meaning of World Cultures.
"Lab's unlocked. Have fun. Don't kill yourselves."
-Professor Chesney
"The first time I was in LA, earthquake. A 5 and a half on a scale of 10. And my friends, who have been living there a little to long, said it was a little earthquake. I said, "An earthquake is an earthquake, assholes."
-Lewis Black
"You take that and you cash it!"