The Official John Gorke List of Approval
- The Grand Blanc Marching Marauders (Bobcats)
- The automatic water fountains at the U of M Physics Department
- B-flat flugel horns
- Bach 'Stradivarius' Trumpets
- Ms. Hall and her "Honors-Remedial" English 9 Class
- Meredith Wilson's The Music Man
- Mountian Dew
- SHORTS!
- Shoelaces
- The incandescent light bulb
- The sun
- Anything with brominated vegetable oil in it
- The US Constitution
- Sidewalks
- The Internet
- Frank Loesser's Guys and Dolls
- Mr. Richard "Dick" Smith
- Mr. Peter "Pete" Klose
- Mr. Dale "Wolfie" Wolfgram and his 'Heater Meals'
- Plastic
- No. 2 Pencil Lead
- Matt Groening's The Simpsons
- The Four Jokers in a Deck of Five
- Static Electricity
- Mr. Charles "Charlie" Martell and PSSC Physics
- Toe nail clippers
- Conductor's batons
- Orchestras
- Anything beginning with prefix "tele-"
- Burt Bacharach
- Polyphemus, son of Neptune
- Darryl Zanuck’s All About Eve
- Steven Sondheim’s West Side Story
- Anything by Shakespeare
- Claudius, King of Denmark
- Bass flutes
- Godzilla
- Spyro the Dragon for Sony Playstation
- Snow
- Sleet
- Hail
- Nice weather
- Professional sports other than baseball
- Baseball
- Two dollar bills
- The 25 cent postage stamp
- Chess
- Hard Rock Cafe Restaurants
- The Greek Alphabet
- Russian
- NASA
- Cosmonauts
- 634-5789
- Dry Erase Markers
- Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal
- Voker romney
- Mellophones
- Mad Magazine
- Gravity
- Bill Cosby
- Chocolate Cake
- IBM computers
- Baseball caps
- Mud
- Pizza
- Cable TV
- Compact discs
- The British Empire
- The "Band Land" Song
- Airplanes
- Julie Andrews
- The Star Wars Trilogy
- Don Rickles
- The rock group Chicago
- The city of Chicago
- The comedy of Bill Cosby
- Lunches made by the Grand Blanc Band Boosters
- Palooka-ville
- Pokémon Red Version
- Pokémon Blue Version
- Rock and Roll Music
- Anyone/-thing who/that doesn’t have issues
- The North American International Auto Show
- ‘Fred the Doorman’ from the NAIAS
- ‘The Official John Gorke List of Approval’
- Drum Corps International
- The Nintendo Entertainment System
- 45-Speed records
- Brakes
- The Eggman
- The Eggmen
- The Walrus
- Wood
- Carbon paper
- Basic motor skills
- The Dow Jones Industrial Average
- Yahoo.com
- Catch-22
- Fiction
- General knowledge
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Fresca
- The Pascal programming language
- Pascal’s Triangle
- The phrase, "Brad, three seconds.."
- Bootlegs
- Sweaters
- Kickass wombats
- Ronald Reagan
- Big James of the Power Team
- Scotch tape
- Triple F (FFF)
- Individually wrapped candies
- Atmosphere
- Earplugs
- Stereo microphones
- Soap
- Red Reuther entry-level drum sets
- Bob Dole
- Linus C. Pauling
- KIA SPORTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
- KIA SEPHIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Mr. Apples (A really nifty Goofy doll!)
- Bassoons
- Marching band parties and bus trips
- The ‘grand poobah’ hat
- SNOW DAYS!
- ‘The Young Lutheran’s Guide to the Orchestra’
- Isaac Asimov
- Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang
- Sherman Edwards’ 1776
- Sinusoids
- Juicy steaks
- Car washes
- Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird
- Tim Johnson (The rabid dog from TKAM0)
- Liquid oxygen
- The bonding of hydrogen
- Dictionaries
- Anything pliable
- Gustav Holst
- Mrs. (Goody) Susan Thomas
- Mr. Clarence ‘C-Dog’ Sevillian
- Monty Python
- George Orwell’s 1984
- George Orwell’s Animal Farm
- Harrison Ford
- Sergei Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf
- Brakes
- The Awful German Language by Mark Twain
- Bob Seger
- Gregory Peck!!!!!!
- Salty, the tenor sax
- KAISER WILHELM! (also a tenor sax)
- KC and the Sunshine Band
- Igor Stravinsky
- Circus music
- The Popemobile
- The Batmobile
- The Oscar-Meyer Wienermobile
- Aaron Saul and his ‘Magical Bag of Personal Effects’
- The chemistry lab safety video
- Linus C. Pauling
- Leo Szilard
- Edward Teller
- The Grand Blanc varsity cheerleading squad
- Phaze Change (the group for Bill Nye)
- Cheap, non-scientific calculators used in elementary schools
- Gran’pa Jack (from the pamphlet "Gun Control Kills Kids!")
- The Grand Blanc varsity basketball manager
- Imus!!!!
- The gravitational constant (6.670 x 10^-11 m^3/(kg x s^2))
- Electrostatic Induction
- CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
- Chocolate shakes
- Clanks, ticks, and other fictional units of time
- Physics dynamics cars
- The Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798
- Mr. Robert ‘Bob’ Tartoni
- Frogs
- Leonard Bernstein
- Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower
- The Eisenhower Tunnel
- The Eisenhower Dollar
- ‘I Like Ike’ buttons
- Subway restaurants
- "The ‘Nazi’ Way" (Ask for an explanation)
- The laws of thermodynamics
- Gibberish
- Pickles!
- Anne Rolecki's conductible music shirt from Austria
- Sesame Street
- Walt Disney’s Fantasia
- Walt Disney’s Fantasia 2000
- The Super Bowl
- Deportation
- The Mulan spinning toys at McDonald’s
- The Mongolian Barbecue
- Super Big Gulps
- Silver Nitrate
- Trombones (or Boners, whichever you prefer) :-)
- The book: Applying to College for Dummies
- The CD: The Green Bay Packers’ Greatest Hits: Volume 2
- Chocolate Pudding
- Mrs. Denise Botzki and the GBHS Drama Department
- York Peppermint Patties
- Y’all
- Megaman games
- Blocks of wood
- Packing foam
- Pit orchestra snacks
- Rain sticks
- Chirping plastic crickets
- French in a Box
- FOUR BITS!!!!!
- Glenn T. Seaborg
- Orange cones from Central Michigan University
- ATP
- Ernie's Incredible Illucinations
- Michelle Legacy's muffins
- Conic sections
- Mr. Mahlon Heatwole
- Puppets
- Ebay.com
- The Human Fund
- The Richard Wade Project
- Cold Fusion
- Spell check
- Richard Wagner
- Final Fantasy games
- Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats
- Magical Mister Mistoffelees
- Mungojerrie
- Rumpelteazer
- All of the other cats from Cats
- Magic: Unglued
- The "Whiting Woodblock"
- Barbarian ice skating music (a.k.a. tuba/ clarinet duets)
- Taphephobia
- Little Caesar's Pizza Kits
- JJ's Fruit Pies (the 3 for $1 kind)
- Rock salt
- C. W. McCall's song, Convoy
- The Bangles
- NATO
- Mr. Potatohead
- Orange Julius (at least the name)
- Chocolate bunny genocide
- The plays of William Shakespeare
- The movies of Alfred Hitchcock
- Hazardous waste
- Ben Folds Five
- Green beans
- Easy Cheese brand canned cheese
- Vaseline
- Magazines
- Tangerines
- Card games
- Valve oil
- Cork grease
- Commodore 64 computers
- Useful junk
- Useless junk
- Playing war games at Borders books
- Vincent Price
- Old money
- New money
- The Pink Donkey and the Fly (a weirdass cartoon)
- Mr. Dan Harrett (Ben - pie!)
- Backup files
- Making fun of Captain Planet
- Captain Doshi
- Cedar Point amusement in Sandusky, Ohio
- Samuel L. Jackson
- Winnie the Pooh
- Samuel L. Jackson as Winnie the Pooh
- Ice cream carts
- NASA's Microgravity Man
- Poor aim
- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
- The Periodic Table of Elements
- Hot dog stands
- Complementary angles
- Latus Rectae
- Tag
- Certificates of appreciation
- Very bad, physics related pickup lines
- Receiving extra credit for coming to school
- Frank at Seven
- Grammar
- Napping
- Sleeping
- Resting
- Redundancy
- British accents
- Diverging rays
- Parabolic mirrors
- Temporary blindness caused by parabolic mirrors (it's cool!)
- Cheating death
- Ink
- Graphite
- Freezing stuff in carbonite
- Disco music
- Vox guitar wha pedals
- The Die Hard Trilogy
- Bogner Sound and Music (a really neat store)
- The original Nintendo Entertainment System
- Role-playing games
- The Tacoma-Narrows Bridge
- Pez candies
- Pez dispensers
- Plunger mutes
- The Man Show
- Parishioners
- Chronos, Keeper of All Time (a silly bear from a cartoon)
- Randomness
- The Powerpuff Girls
- Roger Mudd
- Austin Powers!
- The Soviet Doomsday Ship (it may be Soviet, but it's nifty)
- Taquitos
- The Taco Bell 'Grande Meal'
- Super-duper sized sex machines (only $.80 more)
- Sherbet
- Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive a Car
- Mike Meyers
- Tall kitchen trash bags
- Sexual Harrassment Panda
- Oinky the Run-Around-With-Scissors Pig
- Other misfit mascots
- Red Wood Lodge's Yukon Baked Potatoes
- Road apples
- The MSU air conditioning sound (vweeeeeee!!!)
- The Fender Playboy Strat
- Grand Theft Auto
- Spartan chef hats
- Tron
- AIR CONDITIONING
- Blue Trombones
- 8-flavor Slurpees
- Moo Huffs
- Bionic Teeth
- Tibetan Monks
- Mimes
- Campout Spaghetti
- Thrift Fair
- M&M's Candies
- The letter "e" a.k.a. eeeeeeeeeee
- The Bee Gees
- Double Density 3.5" floppy disks
- Hemoglobin
- The Hatfields
- The McCoys
- Special Sauce
- Irish jigs
- Gorktv (a scheme of Lia Bottinelli and John Gorke)
- Kool-Aid
- A schizophrenic woman named Norma Jean (a.k.a. Brianna)
- The New York Stock Exchange
- Stratford, OT's Festival Theatre
- The Blue Water Bridge
- MSU Hockey
- Tom Green
- John Duffy signature coffee
- Monica Lake's silver boots
- Corporal Swoffer of the Army Reserve
- The "handicapped lane" on Flint roads (long story)
- Brownies with nacho cheese
- Jim of Camp Copeniconic and HEALTH CALL!!!
- The Crim Festival of Races
- The band senior guys skit
- 'The New Jersey Devil' (a.k.a. Zac Penrod)
- Dan Sheline (yes, that's you)
- The rock group 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears'
- Piling on the extras
- Double-time high stepping
- 'The Shop-at-Home'
- Erg Raiders
- The trailer to the film Stigmata
- The phrase "I kicked Lake Washington's ass!!"
- Mardi Gras necklaces
- Pine cones
- Lewd-crab
- Acorns
- Spandex
- Sporks
- Mr. Brian "Chemist" Hugo
- Mr. Victor "T-Dawg" Trembley
- Adopt-a-Highway
- Baldheaded beef strokers who march 75 pound vibrators
- Durr
- Storage crates
- The music group Styx
- Home football games
- The Grand Blanc Varsity Football Team
- Mystery Science Theater 3000
- The 'Floor' Bass
- The Official John Gorke Seal of Approval (special thanks to Matt Aurand
and Brian Sterling)
- Instruction manuals
- Staplers
- Cookie High-Fives
- Frosties from Wendy's restaurants
- OH-LA-LA
- Ultimate devils of demon doom
- Hugonium, the densest element (ask for details)
- El Hugo
- Gorke's Theorem of AP Chem
- German disciplinary knife bouts
- The 'Annoy Mr. Braciak' lab in PSSC Physics
- Metler Balances
- Tetrachloroauric (III) acid
- Lauren Chung's mutant carrot
- The number eight (8!)
- Mrs. Sally Tartoni
- Bubble wrap
- The John Hill Educational Park
- The John Hill Regiment
- Adding 'The Devil' to attendance lists to throw off chaperones
- Seeing things with The Devil
- The Devil
- The GBHS Track Band
- Writing useless and insane cues into music
- Purple pens
- Norwegians (especially Craig, the wunderkind)
- The sine of Copper
- The cosine inverse of Calo
- Original morons
- Positive Huge
- Negative Huge
- The Comic Book Periodic Table of Elements
- 1/2
- The end of Vehicle
- Kitty Physics
- Deriving equations without the aid of a calculator
- The Ekhande-Gorke Equilibrium
- Online college applications
- Betting your neighbor's cat
- Amparito Roca
- Animal fetus cookies
- Casey Kasem
- The "He needed killin' " defense (only valid in the South)
- Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
- Dr. Raymond Sheline
- Mr. Larry Beauchamp
- The mole
- Avogadro
- Mole Day
- Quiz Bowl
- The Fundamental Theorem of Calculus
- 100 gallon drums of phosphoric acid
- Rousing tribal drum solos on 100 gallon drums of phosphoric acid
- 'Dust-Free' erasers (The Corporate Lie)
- The Moving Van of Doom
- Molarity
- GI Joe (the real American Hero)
- Gretchen Sutto's generous ways
- Insane phrases that show astonishment
- The movie 'The Matrix'
- ZDTV
- The Squeeze Theorem
- Post-It Notes
- Almost getting kicked out of Subway for raucous behavior
- The King of Michigan
- Beaver Island, home of The King of Michigan
- Horton Bay, the 51st state
- Audio tapes of mime performances
- The suffocation of 'Air Supply'
- CD players that gamble with themselves
- The Avondale High School Marching Band
- Tim Peasel and his duck power
- Beating Powers
- High School Challenge
- The music of Leroy Anderson
- Rolls from the GBHSMB band banquet
- Buying old chem books for $5
- Climbing tress in AP Biology
- Manny Mulhotra, the 1st Indian pro hockey player
- The Michigan Math Prize Competition
- Climax, MI
- Notre Dame University
- Succotash
- Kum and Go gas stations
- Frozen custard
- The National Swine Research Laboratory in Ames, IA
- The National Poultry Research Lab in Madison, WI
- The Bovine Foraging Research Facility in Madison, WI
- Reading 18 chapters in a Physics book in one weekend
- Coulomb's Law
- Hooke's Law
- Ohm's Law
- Graham's Law
- Snell's Law
- Entropy
- Blow'd Up
- Rungo
- The Subway Hobo
- The GBHS Pep Band
- The new wing of Grand Blanc High School
- Pieces of wire
- Differentials
- The derivative of right
- The non-existent derivative of wrong
- Dinoflagellates
- Fake antlers
- Blinking red noses
- Ganja
- L'Hopital's Rule
- Mr. Beauchamp insisting that L'Hopital's Rule isn't L'Hopital's
- Shaking fists at the flutes
- Toy Story 2 candy dispensers
- Irish drinking songs
- Irish cops
- Drunken Irish cops who sing for nickels and club passersby
- Carbon paper
- Moon Muck
- The Blue Pill from The Matrix
- The Red Pill from The Matrix
- The Green Pill (the one never shown in The Matrix)
- Festivvard, The Christmas Viking
- The Neutral Planet
- Beige alerts
- Stories full of magic and heroism that make no sense
- Carmex
- Festivus
- Disobeying the 2nd law of thermodynamics
- Mr. Ron Calo
- The flammability of alcohol
- Elf Bowling
- 80D!
- Natural logarithms
- Ice cream bonuses
- The Calvin Cycle
- The Krebs Cycle
- Oboes cooking hotdogs
- Oboes roasting chestnuts
- Oboes whistling Dixie
- Accidentally inhaling mildly poisonous fumes
- Cranial Crunch
- Psycho Ed.
- Chemistry model kits
- Metallica with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra
- Amazon.com
- Dent resistant tigers
- Tylenol PMS
- Hydrophilic molecules
- Boltzman's Constant
- Planck's Constant
- Jeremy Constant, Concertmaster of the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra
- Duping Hugo
- "Special brownies"
- Lab coats
- The Brothel on Wheels
- Lauren Chung's "Everything You Need to Know to Survive Senior Year in Less
than Five Minutes"
- Defiling timeless pieces of art
- The Farmer Jack Parking Lot of Death
- Epinephrine
- Electrum
- Being Cable
- Suppression fire
- Trigonometric substitution
- Rule Seventeen
- Hewlett-Packard
- Setting computer clocks ahead to get 10 year long free trial periods
- Mr. Trembley's secret language (Gop-O Top-O Hop-E-Lop-Lop)
- The Super Effective Band Name Generator
- Stories based of said Super Effective Band Name Generator
- Pash Cracken and the Meatball Brigade
- Leisure Calculus
- Nixon: The Lost Years
- The Grand Blanc Cross Country Team
- Dihybrid Crosses
- The 'Monday Sucks' song
- The Voodoo Cat of Tobango
- Mambo Number Four
- Combo Number Five
- Freeb
- Having all the candy
- Toxic levels of lead on baseball fields
- Tales of bloody goat heads
- The ADS Scholarship Weekend (not including the test!)
- The Mean Value Theorem
- The CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics
- Creating fool-proof, sinister plots
- Kremit
- One dollar coins
- Crepustulence
- Being disheveled
- Blaming Canada
- Brown paper bags that HATE
- Binary dice
- Mrs. Saffron's dislike of the word orgasm
- Actually remembering to do things
- Mongolian Barbecue
- Driving through Hash Bash playing rap music
- Marketing children
- Boxes that say "I'm a Happy Cat!"
- The atrioventricular valve
- The talented Mr. Wyrock
- Scanning machines
- The Death Star
- The Near Death Star
- 5/8 Chips
- Starcraft
- Talking to plants
- Vorpal Deer
- Vorpal Rabbits
- Calling things 'lousy'
- Steel cages within other steel cages within iron bars
- This Space for Rent
- Preschool activity cards
- Causing mass clapping
- The Backseat Boys
- Shot Through The Heart: The Remix of DEATH
- The lytic cycle
- Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
- Pessimistic People Named Tiffany
- Mop buckets
- Robert Jager's Third Suite
- The Grand Blanc High School Winter Guard
- Snow after they said it wouldn't snow again
- Being victorious
- Kids dancing in the hothouse
- Nickelodeon's Hey, Arnold!
- Swiss Triplets
- TBE buffer solution
- Agarose gels
- Making water fleas' hearts explode with caffeine
- Sage advice from crackpots
- The phrase "So mitosis..."
- Forgetting Ammonia
- Realizing that broken fluorescent lights mean danger
- Benzene rings
- Roald Hoffman
- Dr. Donald Showalter (Satan)
- Blood Bowl
- Nutro Max Pet Food
- Things with the Zing of Healthiness
- Box cutters
- Never Putting salt in your eyes
- Putting salt in your eyes
- Always putting salt in your eyes
- Funkmeister Ulrich
- Going through the drive-thru on foot
- Unruly Chalupas
- Dastardly Whoppers
- Pinball Wizards
- The Who
- Iron Chef
- Fallout 2
- The Hugodome
- The spoils system
- The loot
- The warrant
- The crook
- Watto
- Watto riding a rooster
- Trying to stand Watto up but failing
- Finally succeeding after 40 minutes of trying to stand Watto up
- The Millenium Force
- Millenium Force headaches
- Drain bramage caused by the Millenium Force
- Mission: Impossible 2
- Chimera
- Impossible cake of doom
- Marshall Mathers
- British rockers from hell
- Square One
- Math Man
- Mathnet
- The last day of high school
- Keeping the CK105 people in a shed so they can't harm the kids.
- Gladiator
- Open houses
- Gradiating!
- Laser tag
- The Sims
- Water fights
- Swindling Best Buy
- The Kids in the Hall
- AP Tests
- Telc (a small Czech town with four cars and a barn)
- Hitchhikers wanting to go to Telc
- Prostitutes lining the streets at the Czech border
- Znojmo
- Orange detour signs leading to Znojmo throughout the Czech
Republic
- Vienna (Wien)
- Wiener Schnitzel
- Phantasialand
- Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam
- Being stuck in Viennese traffic by the gay parade
- The Zwinger in Dresden, Germany
- The people of the people man
- Sudden rain storms
- The UEFA Euro-2000 soccer championships
- The Autobahn (when it's not under construction)
- Niet roken: with a vengeance
- Wheast (wheat hybridized with yeast)
- A wife who'll call me Duke
- Stinky meat
- Operation Starve Kroger
- Burton in a Box
- Battles moving to the river
- Insider trading
- Spud guns that shoot tactical nukes
- 2 Whoppers for $2
- Corn... lots of corn
- CyRide
- Aldi
- The List of Songs that are The Devil
- Pablo, the man who’ll cut you deep 3 times before you
know what cut you
- Trips to Great Lakes Crossing
- The cock tree from physics day at Cedar Point
- HP Pavilion PCs
- Ms. Nicole Williams
- Timo (my calc prof… he just says to call him Timo… no
one really knows who he is)
- The ISUCF"V"MB
- M Rank
- Robot House
- Dining services
- Hats that make monkeys smart
- Ethernet
- Napster (Eat it, Lars!)
- Trumpet parties
- Dinkles
- Battlebots
- The horizontal spinning wheel of death
- The Galaxy of Terror
- Marching in 100 degree weather in full uniform
- Throwdown
- Dismissal
- M-Tron
- Interactive Calculus
- Legos
- Powerfulissimo
- Accentissimo
- The vending machine of guns
- Honors 121 Group G3
- Crossword Puzzles
- Days of yore
- Getting pictures taken with the DPS truck
- The difference between Austin and Boston
- The ISU dining services
- ABBA
- Computers that don’t freeze up (hahaha)
- John Duffy's Mobile Harassment Van
- Fiesta Boy
- 747s
- Free T-Shirts
- Water bottles
- Mini Fights
- Helser Fights
- Fortran 90
- Hating the Hawks
- Beating the Hawks
- La Suerte De Los Tontos
- Linn Mar Rouser (possibly the cheesiest fight song
every written)
- Free stuff out of Doctor Golemo’s (ISU Director of Bands)
van
- The ISUCF"V"MB Bible
- AWASUX
- Taking West Side Story down two octaves
- Neighborhood Network
- The ISU Hockey Band
- Rabid quests
- Deviant balls
- Mill ball child labor
- Green Beenz
- Wondering what exactly an Aggie is
- The ISU Alumni Band
- Happy music
- Where is Spot?
- The ISU Freshman Honors Retreat
- Trivial Pursuit at 3 in the morning
- Humphrey Bogart being the answer to 1/7 of all old trivial
pursuit questions
- Video scavenger hunts
- Two minute conversations with George Washington Carver
- The Streetfighter (starting Sonny Keeba)
- Lighting things on fire for a class
- Michigan Tech's International House
- Dan Bern’s "Tiger Woods"
- Roving pep band
- New Cracklin’ Oat Flakes, now with Ecstasy
- Tailgating in parking structures
- The Food of Your Choice Will End Your Life Tonight
- Opera with a ghetto feel
- The Insight.com Bowl
- MSDS
- Chloroform
- Reverse vampires
- Counting in screamed German
- Explosion-proof blenders
- KNIFE GHOSTS
- Bob the Angry Flower
- Training to be cerftified as "Unqualified"
- Pregnancy through skin injection
- The Theme from Coach
- The Inverse square law
- Dr. Allen Pulsifer
- 4-dodecylphenol
- Cats belonging to Satan
- Songs by Wesley Willis
- The Beatles and Raffi remixes, as done by Katie Sheline
- Monopoly at 4 am
- Peanut butter sandwiches… made with jam
- Electing cats to Congress
- Skateboarder Krang
- Clickpoints
- Emphatic yeses
- Earplugs
- ‘Uncle Juice’
- Risk
- The Magic Bus
- The Gamma Function
- Ava Butzu
- Kappa Kappa Psi
- French toast and bacon
- Og, Gorilla Emperor of Earth
- New-Age Hybrid Class, History Theory
- Matthew Spencer’s Theory of Theory
- Supra bowls
- Supra men
- Super-Bowl-Vegas-Style
- People who read this entire list
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John Gorke Seal of Approval
