Soundoffs from May and June, '99
SOUNDOFF FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 28,1999
That Damn Sword
Now, I realize that every hero and villian must have
their signiture item. Spider-Man has his web-shooters, Pearl Forrester
has the Widowmaker. I can't do anything about it; it's in the union contract.
But I can complain about one thing.
The Sword of Omens.
Yep, that's right, the Sword of Omens. Or as Jackal-Man
put it, 'that magical sword'. That damn thing can do anything. It flies.
It grows. It shoots frickin' lasers. It projects the Cat's Sign (which
would be kinda cool if it didn't mean we were gonna get our asses kick).
Now alot of people have theorized on how the sword
gets its powers. Some say its really magical. Some say the spirit of Jaga
lives in it. Others say Lion-O channels his life force through it. Personally,
I think its all smoke and mirrors.
You're propably saying, "Vulture-Man, are you nuts?"
Not really. And when you think about it, it makes sense. The sword only
does these things when combat is going on, while people are distracted.
The perfect time for a team of trained specailist to create the 'powers'
of the sword.
SOUNDOFF FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 21,1999
How can Snarfs eat wood?
Snarfs have many unique abilities, like annoying voices
and have no back-bone. They do have one unique ability that few creatures
have; they can eat wood and not kill there themselves.
FIrst, I better explain why, for the most part,
humans, Thunderans, and mutants can't eat wood; we simply can't chew it.
Snarfs have vicious teeth (I know first hand) and would have no problem
chewing wood. The real problem is digesting. The average being can't digest
the cell walls of plants, and just crap it out. That's what fiber is. Some
creatures, like the termite, can digest plant walls.
So snarfs are either a) extermly regular or b) termites.
Either way, it explains a lot.
SOUNDOFF FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 14,1999
Breathing in space.
Now we all know that the Thundercats, and there allies
and enemies have breathed in space which we all know just can't happen.
People need air to breath, which as any 2-year old would know, space is
devode of air. And even if they didn't need air to breath, the lack of
pressure would case their heads to explode.
I have spent many a night pondering this question
and every time I have gotten a headache. One night, while watching a 'Star
Trek: the Next Generation' marathon, I just realized that they had the
shuttle bay doors open and didn't die! So I went to my Technical Manual
and I found out how they do it! The shuttle bays are equiped with magnetic
fields that keeps the air inside the ship.
Now this is my theory: everyone that comes in contact
with the Thundercats gets a mini Magnetic Field implanted in them, allowing
them to breath in space.
SOUNDOFF FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 7,1999
What the f@&% is a samoflange?
After fighting the Thundercats on several occasions
I've heard Panthro refer to the samoflange when talking about the Thunder
Tank. Sound wise, a flange is an echo. So, logic says that a 'samo' is
a prefix. But a prefix for what?
Thunderian, by nature are war-like, but not by upbringing.
This leads be to believe that a 'samo' has something to do with the eternal
strugal between good and evil. I've also heard Panthro say, while in the
Thunder Tank,"Keep your foot off that blasted samoflange!" This only strenghten's
my point even more.
These points that I have brought up lead me to make
on conclusion what a 'samoflange' is. A samoflange is a nuclear powered,
subterrian, tank mounted, brain control echo generator. It makes perfect
sense; that tank has more weapons than it needs and Lion-O is bent on 'uniting'
everyone under the 'Code of Thundera'.
SOUND OF FOR THE WEEK OF MAY 31, 1999
What is a Hyperspace Megacondenser?
Now we've all seen the Public Holostations documentaries
where Tygra explains how the Feliner works. The Feliner is the fast ship
the Thunderan Empire has. Tygra showed us in Holo- land what each part
of the engine is and what it does. He shows use what the Hyperspace Megacondenser
is, but he doesn't tell us what it does and goes onto the cooling manifold.
Now I have two theories: a) Its a piece of Alien
Technology that even the Mighty Tygra doesn't understand or b) its just
a box with some wires and lights that is there for show. Now the (a) would
make more sense but I think its (b). Now, you're probably saying, "Why
Vulture-man, you have gone insane." That maybe the case, but hear me out
for a second; now if someone wanted to sabotage the Feliner what would
they target? The Hyperspace Megacondenser. Now if it was a worthless piece
of metal, they wouldn't have anything to worry about.
That brings me to my second point. I believe that
all of the Thundercats' auto-defenses at the Cat's Lair are also worth
pieces of metal and plastic. Think about it, nobody in their right mind
would attack the Cat's Lair. So why spend millions of credits on defenses
that aren't need?
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